Friday, April 01, 2011


I'm feeling anxious today.

And overwhelmed.

I normally do a really great job of trying to balance it all, staying in the moment, and not stressing about the small stuff.  But every once in a while, I lose that sense of balance...and today's the day.  So I figure, maybe the way to combat this feeling is to just write out all the things that are contributing in the hopes that seeing them all written here will make them seem insignificant and small...or at least smallER!!  So here goes...

I am anxious about the fact that this barn is getting close to being finished, and it doesn't look quite the way I had pictured it.  The size and shape are fine, but the colors are not what I had envisioned. Unfortunately, when we had to pick all of the colors, we couldn't get all of the samples at the same time, so I was kind of flying blind.  It makes me feel better, of course, that Barry agreed with all of the color choices, but still.  The brown is much lighter than I wanted, and the green is much brighter. Well, what are ya gonna do?  It's all custom ordered and cut, so there's no going back now.  Just have to take a deep breath and deal with it.  Crap.  This is #1 on my anxiety radar today.

Noah is starting kindergarten in the fall, and I'm trying to get my ducks in a row.  Since Kendall is open-enrolled in a school district we don't live in, we have to apply for enrollment every year and wait to be accepted...which hasn't been a problem so far, because her class is on the small side.  However, with Noah going into kindergarten, we don't know how big the class will be, therefore I don't know how good our chances are that he will get in.  It definitely helps that Kendall is already a student because he will get priority over open-enrollment students that have no siblings attending, but it is definitely playing on my mind, as our other options are really not the way we want to go, i.e. sending him to London or paying tuition for him to go to a private school which is half an hour away.  So, you see why this is #2 on the anxiety scale!

I spent some time weeding out closets and dressers and I have piles of clothes everywhere, because all of my storage is FULL until the barn is finished.  Clutter makes my head hurt, so it has not been the best week for Noah to be home sick...because I can't get anything accomplished!  And he is on spring break next week, so looks like not a whole lot will get done then either.  So this weekend is my weekend to GET IT DONE...or at least as much as I can.  I went to Target today and got some rubbermaid totes and some little photo storage boxes to try to get my 'Sentimental Boxes" put together...and that's what I've been working on this afternoon.  If I can find a few garage sales to participate in this spring/summer, I should be able to unload some of this stuff and make some money in the process.  Wish me luck...I can't handle the clutter any more! LOL!

Did you know I'm turning the big 4-0 next Thursday? No...I promise this has nothing to do with my anxiety today. I'm actually excited!  I love having a reason to celebrate (and a justification to do just about anything for the next few and the number truly does not bother me.  What bothers me is that I have no plans.  I know my birthday is on a Thursday (which is inconvenient), and Barry is taking me out on Saturday (he won't tell me where), but I definitely want to do something special on my actual birthday.  I don't know what...just something out of the ordinary.  I mean, 40 is the new 20, right????   Hello...anyone out there???

The summer to-do list is daunting.  And spring is so busy, trying to get the garden in and the flowerbeds cleaned up and mulched, as well as the other various projects around here that need done.  I have to tell you that as excited as I am for spring, I am tired just thinking about it!  We're planning a big trip up to Canmore, Alberta this year, and I can hardly wait!  We're flying into Spokane and then driving through the Canadian Rockies up to Canmore to visit our friends Sarah & Torben.  We're all so excited, but Barry and I are still trying to nail down our airfare and the actual dates. Once we get that done, it's ON!  I love vacations, oh how I do!!  But again, the prep is so much work! 

Are you sick of hearing me whine and complain yet? 

I am.

Let's move onto happier our trip to D.C. last week. (Actually, that's another of the causes of my little anxious state today...I really need to upload those pics and get my blog post written!)  We had fun and really saw a lot!  And even better, we decided to make it our "spring break trip" every year...or at least until we feel like we've seen it all!  Look for the pics soon, friends!


Kayris said...

I know that feeling well. I like being busy and I'm good at balancing it all usually, but sometimes everything comes due all at once.

I'm currently in charge if organizing the volunteer effort to paint the classroom at my daughter's preschool. I have to get supplies (donated by HD), arrange for paint and direct the volunteers. I just want this project DONE so I can focus on everything else, including my new job.

Hope things come together soon for you!

terri said...

You're not whiny. It looks like you are legitimately overwhelmed right now and sometimes it just helps to get it all off your chest. Just do what you can and cut yourself some slack when you need to.

And yes! 40 IS the new 20! I'll drink to that! Hope you have a fantastic birthday, whatever you end up doing.

Kate said...

If 40 is the new 20, then is 30 the new 10? In that case, we both have lots to celebrate this year! Happy Birthday Jen! I know Barry and your kiddos will make your day special no matter what you are doing. But please do something wild and crazy like go skydiving or something :)

We had a similar situation when we painted our house recently. I hate the colors - blegh. But it's too expensive to do over again so might as well dress it up with some accents to divert my attention. Pictures . . . I have great intent to upload them all, edit them all, scrapbook many of them, but the time for that will present itself one day, just not now. Thank God for digital cameras!

Can't wait to hear about your trip (but don't let that cause you more anxiety to post about it anytime soon :)

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