I understand...

I know it's hard sometimes, baby girl.

We expect so much from you...we always have. All of our hopes and dreams and everything we ever wanted in a child were automatically expected of you on the day you came into our lives. Just a tiny little cherub you were, but you were our entire universe in one little 7 lb. 8 oz. bundle. We lived an idyllic existence, where the world revolved around you, and we lived just to see your face light up with your infectious smile. And after living four perfect years that way, suddenly your world changed.
Noah made his way into our lives and our cohesive little family unit had to make room for your new baby brother. You were so excited! You never complained...not even once. Not when it seemed that everyone was coming just to see him, not when they brought him presents and sometimes forgot to bring a little something for you, not when it seemed like all I did was hold him and nurse him, and not even when we missed an entire session of gymnastics because I was overwhelmed at home. You asked a million questions, sat patiently beside me, helped me in every way you could, and loved your little brother every single way your four-year-old heart knew how. You've willingly shared toys with him, showed him how to do a thousand different things, helped him wash his hands, motivated him to pee in the potty, made him the star in dozens of your plays. You've told every person you know how much you love your brother. You've always said you're lucky to have him.

But still...it's hard.

I understand how you feel. Being the oldest isn't all it's cracked up to be, is it? I understand more than you know, because I'm an oldest child too. I watch you two and remember my own childhood as he chatters constantly, repeats himself incessantly, antagonizes you to no end, tears apart your elaborate creations, makes messes in your room, breaks your things...and most of all, it seems like he gets all of the attention and none of the discipline. You feel like you have to do everything perfectly, and he gets away with everything. It's your job to set a good example, whether he follows it or not. It's not fair, and you aren't going to take it anymore, right?

I know. I've been there before, and I'm trying to make it easier for you...really, I am. I try to help you in every way I can think of. But you have to remember...

Noah is three, honey. He doesn't understand all the things you do, like why we can talk loudly during a movie at our house but not at the movie theater, or why you can walk over to the neighbors' house by yourself and he can't, or why you get to stay up late and catch fireflies and he has to go to bed. Or even why we don't backwash in our bottled water, or eat candy found in a parking lot, or stuff an entire roll of toilet paper in the toilet. He has a hard time with the concept of time-out and eating vegetables and (sometimes) sharing. BUT...

Who was the 3 year old tow-headed little boy who defended your honor (to none other than the family dog) yesterday when Scout bumped into you on the stairs and scratched your foot? Who walked right up and got nose to nose with his 120 lb. beloved doggy and said "DON'T PUSH MY SISTER!!! DO YOU HEAR ME?! DON'T YOU PUSH MY SISTER!!"

I know that sometimes it feels like we love Noah more...but we don't. You are our first-born...our only daughter. You helped us navigate a road we had never traveled, you've filled out hearts with sweet memories of experiences that can never be repeated. We knew from the very day I found out I was pregnant with you that you were extraordinary...and you are! We have never been disappointed in you...not one single day in the last 7 1/2 years. And even though you've been having a tough time here lately being the big sister to a chatty, repetitive (but cute!) little brother, you can rest assured that nothing has changed. You are still our most favorite little girl, and we love you more than all the stars in the sky, and all the eyeballs on all the people (story to be shared later...). And I promise you this, sweet girl... that little boy loves YOU more than all the chocwat in the world. You're his big sister, his only sibling, and that will never change.