Friday, July 06, 2007

Dear Mr. Tanker Truck Driver...

Taking a break from our regularly scheduled programming to bring you this message...


Dear Mr. Tanker-Truck Driver,


Yes, you...the numbskull who almost ran this mother of two off the road the other night...

Are you aware of the term "merge"? Do you understand what is supposed to happen when a lane merges into traffic on an interstate? Basically, you dickhead, it means that as I am attempting to get onto I-70, I am supposed to increase my speed to match that of the traffic that I will be flowing into, which I DID. It also means that my lane is ENDING. Therefore, you are to either slow down to let me in, OR change lanes to the left to accommodate my vehicle coming into your lane from the right. It DOES NOT mean that you increase your speed once you see me trying to merge, hence leaving me no place to go but into the ditch! That is just plain re-goddamn-diculous!

SO JUST GIVE ME A BREAK, you cottonheaded ninny-muggins! It's not like I could just slow down...do you have any idea how long your truck is, and how short my lane was by the time you decided to be such an ass and screw the lady in the minivan? I had to come to a complete stop in the ditch! You're lucky that I drive an Odyssey and not some speedy little sports car, because you can bet your sweet ass that I would have caught up to you and called the 1-800 number on that "How Am I Driving" sticker on the back of your truck! It's drivers like you that really give me the red-ass!

Sincerely,
The Mom in the Minivan

Now back to our regularly scheduled programming....


9 comments:

IEAT_SNOWMANPOOP said...

ninny mummgins. Nice one.

Amy S said...

You are Hilarious!!

Kuckie said...

Just a little perturbed, Amy...just a little perturbed!

Logziella said...

Oh my gosh!! You really went into the ditch??? Is everyone ok?

Honestly, being a mini van driver myself...I feel targeted sometimes. Seriously, it's like they THINK, that because we drive minivans, that we drive slow and have no RIGHT to be in the passing lane.

So frusterating!!!

Logziella said...

You would THINK that minivans would get a little more respect being that there are probably poor little helpless kiddos riding in there...BUT NO!!!

Logziella said...

Ok...I am done now... :0)

Kuckie said...

I was by myself, Logzie...and good thing too, because I used some language that was *probably* not appropriate for the kiddos! Glad to hear I am not the only one to get on a rant about this! ;0)

terri said...

Cotton headed ninny muggins! I LOVE it. You are funny! I'm glad you came out of that event safely though. I know how scary it is to be caught in that situation.

Mary Helen said...

You tell 'em, Kuckie.

 
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